@#$%@&%#$*@ deer!

Those of you who know me know I not only knit, I am an avid gardener.  My half acre is about 30% gardens, including several hosta varieties, lots of daylilies, and several rare plants, such as black bamboo.  Along the street in front of my house I have planted a row of hostas, roughly 60 feet long.  I have hostas and lilies in the front beds near the house, and a 60 foot row of daylilies along the back stone terraces.  I also have several containers on the back deck, this year many with lime green sweet potato vine.

Deer were never a problem in my yard until last year.  Last year the ubiquitous ungulates grazed on the hostas near the street as if they were a smorgasbord set out just for them.  They ate my daylilies.  They drank from my koi pond.  To defend my plants I tried several different "deer repellents", but the one that worked best was "Deer Off".  I had to order it on-line, and it was quite expensive, but it worked.  It did not smell bad, and as long as you stayed upwind and didn't get any of the aerosol in your mouth, it was inoffensive to humans.  If you did get the mist in your mouth you simply spent the next two hours eating Limburgher cheese to rid yourself of the taste - hence its effect on deer.

This year Deer Off is not in the budget, but the deer didn't seem interested in our plants until last weekend.  Then they went after them with a passion, including the sweet potato vines and impatiens in my containers.  So I resorted to "Liquid Fence", obtainable at Meijer.

Have any of you ever used Liquid Fence?  It claims to repel deer and rabbits, and I completely understand why.  This has to be the foulest smelling stuff on the planet.  The best way I can describe it is it smells like a decomposing skunk that has been peed on by a Tasmanian Devil.  That may be an understatement.
 
Not only does Liquid Fence repel deer and rabbits, it does a fine job of repelling humans.  To avoid the stench as much as possible while spraying it I basically try to run into the wind and spray behind me.  Once the yard is sprayed I have to close any open windows, as this smell lingers a LONG time.  I can't sit on my deck after I spray this stuff.  My neighbors can't sit outside after I spray this stuff.  Birds fall out of trees unconscious.  Squirrels lose their fur.  Vultures circle overhead.

But on the other hand, Liquid Fence is multi-purpose.  If one can bear to do it, transfer a couple ounces of this putrid potion to a small spray bottle, about 3 ounce size, and keep it in your purse.  It is not only an excellent and inexpensive substitute for mace, but will also mark any culprits sprayed with it rendering them socially unacceptable on every possible level, and easy for police to locate.